Dishcloth Divas

There are many adjectives in the English language to describe the look of these obviously sophisticated ladies. You decide if Diva is one of them. Yes, yes, I know diva is a noun but you get my drift, fuckstick.


Remember, kids- hips are the new waist. Apparently.

You're Wearing it Wrong

Queen High Loses

Sick of this typeface yet?

Ever Decreasing Circles

"Set the spiral tool to 11, overlay as many layers as possible and then add some more, many, many more... do something really special to that photo that looks a bit like Dita...yeah...5 minutes? Cool."

Cheesy Wotsits

I'm no gastronome but that doesn't look like a cheesecake to me.

And why, when we could be titillated by an image of the delicious Miss Alabama Rose, are we cursed with a rather lazy old stencil of Betty (with a woven face)?

Do Not Adjust Your Monitor

This is what happens when you go nuclear with your lens flare; existence itself begin to fade and abominable snow-dwarves start carrying guns.


Did I menton Papyrus?

All Flare, No Flair

There are only two instances where lens flare is permissible: one is within 10 minutes of getting your Photoshop software out of the box and the other is with a real camera and real lighting.

Are They Bats?

Only bad things can happen when Vivaldi is used as the title font. I think I may faint from sheer horror...

Say NO to Papyrus!

Come on, it's one step up from Comic Sans.

Bag Ladies' Tea Party

If this flyer is meant to convey the very essence of Red Rocks then I think I'll give it a miss.

Pathetic Heretic

Hmmm, for that hand-scrawled look should I, like, hand do it, you know, with an actual brush and ink, or should I just use a rubbishy font made to look like hand-scrawling? It's a tricky one. Whatever I do, I'm definately [sic] gonna bevel & emboss it.

Toilet

Featuring Ear-Trumpets

Nine fonts. No talent.

Underwear by MS Paint

I can't even begin to imagine what the concept behind Tron's badly executed fantasy girl was.

Tease and Type Disaster

Not even the remarkably lovely and latex-clad Anna Fur Laxis could save this horrendous flyer.

Transgressing Notions of Quality

"Yes, lips...lips on top of legs, yeah. With lips as background too. Yeah, three of 'em. And make sure the heels are at an ugly angle. Typeface? No, just get any old free font off the internets. Yeah, a circussy theme. Oh, and don't forget to compress it down to 5kb, ta."

Welcome to Burlesk Grotesk!

May I welcome you to this, the first posting in Burlesk Grotesk; a gallery of burlesque artwork of the not very good variety. Quite a coincidence as most burlesque is of the not very good variety too.

Awful flyer as this obviously is, I might still have stumped up the £12.50 to see badly traced twins conjoined at the nipple.